Thursday, April 20, 2006

Where and Why do u go!!!

Hey everyone...
Today i'm packing my bags to leave this college!! Been here for four years... amazing story its been... more on dat some other day.... But as i was cleaning up i found this poem of mine i had written like a long time back and thought i'd post it here.....

This darkness shows no day

In moments of despair,
I wonder how I'll fare.
Where did u leave me to be?
Blinding the eyes that you taught to see.

Where do I hold to stand?
Why did u throw me away?
I keep searching for your hand....
This darkness shows no day.

In the times that I weep,
The sadness into me it creeps.
Why did u say to me?
That with me u will always be??

I can't hold on anymore..
I'm lost without ure glow.
Where was I meant to be?
Where's the courage u gave me??

These wounds don't seem to heal,
Time going by, i can't feel.
Would you ever again hold me?
Can I ever again dream??

Should I go on ahead alone?
I've always walked with you.
And now I'm limping along...
My tears are never few.

The many things we shared,
The way in which you cared,
The sweetest smile I were to see,
The warmth in your touch I were to feel.

When I were to feel so low,
To you my heart's words I would pour.
Now why did you let go,
The happiness we shared I feel no-more.

The memories don't desert me,
Even long after u walked away.
Every little thing you said,
Doesn't dislodge itself from my head.

Your voice still lingers in my ear,
The lonely nights i fear.
Your every memory will always be with me,
Your spirit is in me with immortality.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

My first real Goodbye.......

Life has made me bid farewell to so many people… I have been lucky to have made countless friends… who as time would have its way, I’ve had to say good bye to… But it has always been a consolation knowing that someday I would be able to see them again….. So my goodbye then was in vain, coz it was just a momentary thing….

But today… I have actually learnt the meaning of good bye and what it means to say Good Bye to someone u care about and someone who has been a part and parcel of ure happiness and life…..Irene’s leaving to France today… don’t know if she’ll ever come back here… But I do know wat my Good Bye to her meant today… it meant Good bye friend… I HOPE to see u in the near future… But I feel I may never see u again… And that thought is disturbing… I know each and every one of us have our path to follow and the life we have forces us to go our ways… But then there’s always this lil thing in ure heart which wishes parting would not be so hard… And yes its difficult to meet people who actually make a difference in your life…

I have to part with most of my friends from college in a month’s time maybe…but then even if I can never meet all of them together.. at a moment’s notice I’m sure I’ll be able to meet the ppl I want to…. Because they are staying close to me…. And that makes me take things for granted I guess… Good bye doesn’t mean much to me then… though it may make me feel bad momentarily….

This sudden change in my head is disturbing…. The fact that I may never meet someone I feel is a nice person… Different things run through my head… Maybe I could have spent more time with her… Maybe I could have got to know her better… Have I lost out on some time I could have spent with her… I know I would have felt the same for any of my other friends… But this happened to be the first…

Before I met my French friends who by the way are very lovely and nice ppl… I never thought I could be friends with foreigners… ppl whose way of life is different from mine… But then once I got to know them it felt better… It wasn’t so difficult… even if I’m stuck in a room with ppl speaking just French and I strain to understand… Just the feeling that I was amongst friends made me feel all the better… But now the only regret that I have with making friends who are from a far away place happens to be the fact that how will I say goodbye to them… If I am so affected with saying goodbye to Irene… How will I feel when I will have to say goodbye to Guillaume, Audrey or Clemence…. ???? Will I be able to get back to my normal life… Am I to turn the page like it were a book on go on…. Yes I guess that’s wat I have to do and will be forced to do… But how I would like it if I knew they were just a moment’s distance away… Won’t that make parting easier… Well life has its ways… and nothing I do or say is gonna change anything… So I just have to get used to the fact that friends will remain friends no matter where they are on this planet as as ppl say I hope this world is getting closer and closer… The Global Village they call it… One day it should be easy to travel anywhere in the world without having to think over it… And I can just pray that all the friends that I have made during the course of my stay here should remember me and value me for the person that I was….Good bye dear friends…..If only I could change the way time and distance come’s between us… I hope the best for u….