Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Spanish Siesta - Part II

I had collected my room keys and moved into the room.... Settled in actually... kept my stuff all over the place and then jumped onto the bed which was like so relaxing. I hadn't really had any decent sleep over the past few days and so i just had a very short nap. Would have slept for hours elsewhere... but I was so excited that i was actually finally somewhere "abroad". A "foreign" country as i would like to put it. And so i just got a jacket on and went out of the hotel... Everything was no new to me and kept my eyes wide open... I just started walking, keeping in mind the direction I was walking in so that i could make my way back to the hotel. It was chill and I noticed that the pharmacies here in this city all had a digital board outside their shops displaying the outside temperature. The temperature read somewhere around 10 degrees celcius. I walked into a few shops and was shocked to see the price tags... Everything was so expensive... I really dint think this was the kinda place to be doing some shopping.....

One of the things that really did make this place so different(apart from the difference in architecture and other physical aspects) was the fact that ppl actually gave pedestrians so much importance! There were pedestrian crossings all over the place and when there was a green light for the pedestrians, no car would be seen crossing... no matter what!! Here in India, pedestrians are expected to juggle their way through a maze of traffic to get across a road! And there was this particular smaller road that dint have a signal but did have a zebra-crossing.... I wanted to cross and then noticed this car speeding from a distance and so I did wat any right minded Indian pedestrian would do... WAIT (lest he gets run over).... and I was looking around the place seeing the different types of malls around the place. I turn around to see the speeding car now waiting at the crossing.... I looked around to see if there were any other cars in the vicinity that were crossing as to cause this car to stop.... Only when i saw that there were no other vehicles around, did i realise that this car had stopped to wait for me to cross the road! I was taken up....And i crossed the road... pondering over how long its gonna take in my country for ppl to learn such "Road-side ethics".

Anyways I guess I dint wanna walk any further as i was afraid i would get lost. So i turned back and started walking back to the hotel. I went back to my room to see that no one had moved into the room to share it with me as yet... Then in some time, i heard the bell ring and Munshee(the guy whose supposed to share the room with me) popped his head and told me dat he was gonna share his room with someone else and so he wouldn't be sharing my room. He also said that I would most probably have this room all to myself as the other person hadn't turned up for the trip!! And yes, I did have the room all to myself all through my stay at Madrid.

We had a welcome diner planned for us and we were told to wear the yellow bright t-shirt that they gave us for diner....(the one that looked like the Real Madrid jersey) and so I got ready for diner not really expecting anything all that great... Coz by now the crowd that i was travelling with really was dampening my spirits..... There was this episode at the Frankfurt Airport that really ticked me off!! We were running to catch our connecting flight to Madrid and I was with all these Mallu ppl(ya, the very same ppl who were escorting Neethu!) and we just about reached the boarding pass mentioned on our tickets to see that the lady at the counter was busy on the phone... And this guy who was with me calls out to her... I ask him to wait but he doesn't seem to bother... he goes on at her... She finally gets irritated and brings the phone down and sternly looks at him to say "Sir, I'm on the phone". Later after she puts the phone down, she looks at the two of us and was like, "I wasn't on a personal call and that was important. You do have to wait you know". That was seriously embarrassing stuff... I felt so damn bad and i was cursing that Mallu bugher all the way to Madrid... I don't think i will be able to forget this incident for a very long time to come! Most of the ppl who were travelling on this trip with me looked like they dint really know how to carry themselves when they were travelling and were behaving like street urchins with no respect for other people! So basically i moved all around the place by myself. I made a call home from the lobby in the hotel and "God was it so damn costly"! I spoke home for 2 mins and i think that cost me like 1.70 Euros(that would work out to about 100 bucks back here).

We started out for diner. The ICICI people had arranged 7 coaches to take us around the city. We stopped near the Madrid Railway Station(I forget the exact name). It was here that the terrorist attacks took place earlier. They led us to this club or discotheque called Logua(something like that). They had put up huge welcome banners here too! And we walked in to see that it was a nice coy place. Had loads of screens all over the place... and they had this ICICI Spectacular Spain Logo floating all over the place. I saw that they had done up a small stage with a DJ Rack there.... so this was gonna be a fun nite i thought. I moved over to a side to see that there was this huge bar with bottles in all colours and shapes. And there were two guys and a gal behind as the bartenders. Well, so booze was gonna be on the house! Wow, pretty cool... I guess it took our ppl less than 5 mins to fully cover the bar! The bottles and colours that i had seen earlier were now no more visible and I could just see hands and glasses flying around the place!

I waited for some time in a corner feasting on some potato wafers while the bar got a lil less cluttered with people fighting for their drinks. I looked around to see if the South Indian ppl who knew me were far enough for me and went over to the bar... I saw this bottle of Malibu and I decided i would start with a glass of Malibu with some orange juice. These bartenders certainly did have some style. They had a crate of ice cubes on one side and lined up glasses on the other side. They were flipping cubes over their head to fall over their head into the glasses and then spinning bottles all over. Watching them was a sight on its own! I grabbed my drink and went over to another corner to sit quietly. The DJ came over and started playing some Bollywood music. I would have preferred to hear them play what they regularly play in there... But then he was Indian and everyone else was Indian... so i guess that was wat the crowd wanted....

I looked around to see if Neethu was anywhere around. This became a regular search habit for me... I kept scanning the crowd to see if she was anywhere in the vicinity and if she was unguarded!! lol... anyways i dint find her for a good half an hour... A little later as i moved around the place, I saw her doing some face paintings at the face painting area... They had got two ppl over to sit around doing face paintings for ppl who were intersted! She was over there getting some flag painted on her face... I saw her and moved over just to see that one of her uncles were there too doing up his face... So just looked over and waved and laughed... she smiled at me too...and then i went back to just roaming around the place.... I saw Vineetha just walking around the place.... Vineetha was this tour guide of ours(one of the many) and she would probably have been my age or maybe a few years older... She was pretty too... and she spoke well... So i went over and spoke to her for some time... she was fun... but then she was too busy most of the time as she had to handle so many ppl.. well handling 300 ppl on a trip aint something very easy... so the rest of the evening wasn't too eventful... there were many ppl dancing but i stayed clear of the dance floor save for maybe one song!

Diner was served...a buffet and i looked forward to having some Spanish food... just to go over to the counter to see that they had specially prepared some "delicious" Indian food for us!! God, what was wrong with these ppl... travel across the globe to eat the very same Naans and Paneer Butter Masala... and all the ppl around seemed to be enjoying themselves! Well anyways i just stuffed something to keep me going and then took the first bus that left for the hotel.

I sure was looking forward to Guillaume and Seema coming over... Was sure that would make me feel much better... as i was feeling so lonely in a foreign land... having so many ppl around me and yet feel lonely... These ppl spoke about nothing other than "Insurance" and the business they had done! I had so many ppl coming over to me and throwing this question at me, "Which branch are u from"? At first i dint understand wat they were trying to say and actually replied to one old man that i was an Industrial Engineer! Only later did i realise that they were asking me, "Which office of ICICI was I from"... and then i had my answer ready... That i wasn't with ICICI and it was my dad... and that i was a software engineer with Infosys. I wish i could have just recorded that reply... coz i had to use it so many damn times!!

Anyways there ended my first day in Spain! I went over to the phone booth in the hotel and made a call to Guillaume to let him know about my stay and the things I did and also to find out when I was to meet him the next day. I was really looking forward to the next day... Was already sick of all these ppl around me driving me crazy!!! Guys old enough to be my grand-dad getting drunk and trying to shake a leg with their wives!! And please.... dat sure dint look cute in any damn way!

I had a good nites sleep after an awesome dip in the tub!! Almost fell asleep in there actually! Got up the next morning to some call from the reception speaking something in Spanish.... I guessed it was a wake-up call arranged for us by these ICICI guys... dint really know for what they were waking us up anyways! I really did love the breakfasts.... with the different kinds of breads, cheese, scrambled egg.... a European breakfast.... i think i enjoyed the breakfasts the best all through the trip.... coz most of the other time it was just some form of panner and chicken... Indian food all the time... these guys were crazy!! Who would travel all the way there to eat the same stuff... anyways i really dint give a damn... i knew i was gonna have a few meals out....

I met G and Seema sometime at 3 i guess.... Their hotel was in the other side of town... the part of town where there was actually a life! I realised much later that the area where my hotel was in was just some super luxurious area where there really wasn't much to do... and anything u needed to do would cost u a fortune! Anyways, you know what? G and Seema took the metro and came over to my hotel so that they could take me back to the other side of town! They dint want me getting lost... don't blame them... coz for sure i wouldn't have known what to do! So there we began our lil adventure.... We took the metro.... this was my first time and it was really exciting... it sure was a wonderful way to travel....I was pretty excited... from getting the ticket, to waiting for the train, following this lil map they give you.... was kinda nice... a different experience... and everything was soooo much in order here.... no one jumping over the other... no one running and throwing their hanky or something else to book a seat!

We went over to the other side of town and that was where I actually saw loads of ppl... As in there were shops, there were people walking around the place and there were things happening!! It was a wonderful sight...coz as we kept walking around the place, we saw that things were beginning to get brighter and brighter as the day grew darker and darker... Yes, people were preparing for Christmas!! There were lights on all the stores and there were so many huge Christmas trees.... all the shops were so colourful...I told Seema that she would have to help me find a skirt to take back for my sister.... as she wanted something really nice... So we walked into a couple of stores and the prices did take me off my feet!! I almost fell! Most of the skirts were upwards of 40 Euros... that would be like 2400 bucks! In India you could probably get something really beautiful with all of that money..... anyways I really needed to find something...

And yes, much before this, we went to this Royal Palace which was so beautiful and magnificent. This palace I was told has 2600 rooms! What the hell would they do with so many rooms!! Anyways, about 40 rooms were open to the public and each room was splendid in its own way. There was a collection of about 300 different types of antique clocks in here, each and every one of them in working condition. The largest collection of tapestry is also housed in this palace... There was this one room, fully done up in porcelain. I was told that the full room could be dismantled and put together again as the porcelain bits were put together using screws. And they had done it once when there was some threat to the palace. Amazing aint it?? It sure was amazing to see.......

Late evening and we were strolling through so many different streets.... And as we were casually walking by, I happened to see this shop with such a huge sign saying "Sex Shop"... at first I thought it was some kinda joke... only to see that it couldn't be coz there were pictures accompanying this painting! Man was i really excited... had heard bout such stuff and seen all of this on movies... but had never really thought of what it would look like really and what they would be selling inside of this place! Tried to convince G to get into the shop with me but he refused outright! Seema, no chance! So i just went running into the shop and saw the weirdest of things!! There was every damn thing u could think off... the funniest part was that all of this dint surprise me the most... wat actually surprised me the most was the fact that there were so many people inside of the shop and no one even turned as I came in or were bothered about what the other person was upto! Nice....everyone was busy minding their own business... They weren't even conscious of the fact that they were in a SEX SHOP! It was like they had just got there to buy some shoes or something! There were couples of all sorts browsing through the stuff( i aint gonna go into details on the kinda stuff there was in there!)..... Anyways i ran in and i ran out... Wouldn't have been inside the shop for more than 5 mins i guess... was too strange....

Another thing about this country, people were so open in their display of affection... I would see people kissing and no one even turning their side or really bothering... I was then told that Spain is pretty liberal sexually...as in even Gay marriages were legal in here... so ppl had their sexual freedom I guess... saw so many couples kissing-in the streets, in the metro... everywhere.....

Then we sat at a place to have diner and couldn't really find anything in there for Seema to eat as she was a Vegetarian!! Ppl in this country don't know what that means i guess... even the salads are with Chicken! Well, they finally did get some bread for her! We had a beer and after that went back to walking through the streets... and man was it cold! I was freezing back there..... and u should see the building they had for their ministry of telecom... was a palace!! Anyways it was nice walking through the streets.... was like out of a fairy tale... U know these narrow streets paved with stone etc etc.... was kinda out of a dream.... We searched for a place with flamenco performances only to find that there weren't any and so we had to return disappointed! But we did stop at an Irish bar to try this Guiness beer which was absolutely fabulous... the colour of the beer was different and that excited me all the more!!

We walked around town and I finally got back to the hotel.... The experience in this country was totally fabulous- from flamingo to street performances to bull fighting to Spanish wine to saffron... and the architecture... 

Spain will always remain my first foray into Europe.... And I want to spend months and months travelling through Europe... Let's see when I manage to get a job somewhere in Europe so that I can travel....

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Spanish Siesta....Part I - The journey across the seas

Well i thought i'd start to share my experiences in Spectacular Spain........

I started with a lot of nervousness, as there was a lot of confusion regarding my tickets. I had to catch this flight in Chennai and I was in Mysore.... Had a ticket booked on Air Deccan to get to Chennai from Bangalore... but then as Air Deccan can very well be trusted to do... they screwed up and delayed my flight... SO that meant i would have to get a ticket somehow and fly over to Chennai!! That gave me some bumps in the beginning... but eventually i did get to Chennai and well in advance... gave me enough time to catch up with some goood friends... I did have a ball of a time actually... which guy wouldn't considering the fact that he's at a pub with 8 gals... and mind u... he's the only GUY!! Man, that was some evening... had loads of fun....

I always was a lil teeny weeny bit worried as to the kinda crowd i would have to meet during this trip... Coz the only person i knew travelling in this trip(there were 300 ppl travelling together) was me!! Apart from a few ppl from my area.... I really dint like those ppl so dat dint really count as people.... I kept calling these ICICI ppl and these tour guides to find out if there were any body somewhere close to my age group travelling on this trip.... and finally i did come to know that there was one gal from Kerala... Neethu...."that's interesting I thought". Little did i know that it was gonna be one hell of an interesting task getting to know this gal!!

I saw her on my bus from the hotel in Chennai to the international airport... and man she was cute... had this amazing smile... but then i knew rite back then that i would have some problems talking to this gal! She was mallu and she had this whole battallion of uncles and aunts (chetas and chechis,as we call them) travelling with her... Who i guess had sworn to the gods and the kings that they would guard this gal from harmless innocent creatures like me(I can see ya laughing) till death! Anyways i just resigned to my fate and was pretty much by myself at the airport... dint know wat to do and so went to all the phone booths and called loads of ppl! Walked through the duty free shops and saw loads of BOOZE! Stuff dat we normally don't see in the bars in our country! Maybe just in the huge hotels and these drinks would command an astronomous sum! After i got bored doing this, I just sat down in the lobby..... I look around and wat do i see.... I see this gal... Neethu walking towards me.... My heart started beating faster... not that i was having a crush or something!! Just dint know if she was the type to talk to... or more importantly if she was planning on coming over to speak to me!! he he... that really took my trip...And you know wat?? She did come over to me and say hi... I was like pretty happy... as in i was like... "Cool, this gal's great... i finally got some company on this trip!"... we spoke for some time...."Now don't ask me wat we spoke about ok"! Coz it was just the junk that ppl talk when they first meet... pretending to get to know each other better... wheareas in reality actually checking out the other person's reactions to the different things that they say and the way that they say the things that they wanna say!! (Hope i haven't lost you on this one!) But this moment dint last long... as her group of ppl,her security detail as i began to refer to them... got out of the Duty shop where their alcoholic noses had dragged them into... And of course they came to her 'rescue'... but yes they made it as subtle as possible... thank god for that... they would just come and sit alongside and start a conversation with her and drag her back!!

I was like "Big deal". They aint gonna be able to stick to her all the time and i for sure would have my opportunity sometime soon and dint really bother bout those ppl back then.... lil did i know that they would have the last laugh(atleast in Spain)... he he....My flight was not very eventful considering the fact that i had slept for like 4 hours for the last two nites put together, I did sleep through most of the flight!! But sure i did get up in time to grab something to eat.... Its always exciting when we get the food on the flight... coz u really dunno wat ure gonna get and the packaging makes it all the more appealing! The food was considerably decent... though the alcohol they served on the flight was not upto the mark... the wine tasted like some medicine and the whisky like .... I can't describe.. will fill in some adjective when i get it.....By the way back at the airport i had smoked with some Indians who said they were travelling to Ireland.. they were something like doctors i guess and they were going back to work after a holiday.... I had bid adieu to them but then in the flight one of those guys were sitting next to me... "Off course the world's a small place".

OK, Now lets get to Frankfurt... I had this transit stop at Frankfurt... where i had to catch another flight to get to Madrid. Man was i taken up by the sheer size of this airport.... I couldn't even think of comparing it to the Indian airports... the Indian airports were like so damn small compared to this... i got tired just walking around the airport searching for the damn boarding gate... there were actually ppl who were travelling on cylces throughout the airport....Now i understand how Tom Hanks managed for so long in the international airport(somewhere in US) in the fil "The Terminal"!!! God these terminals are so huge... in fact it was so amazingly neat!! I was impressed... earlier i had thought that thank god we had half an hours time of transit!! But then i realised that it really wasn't enough.. thank god our flight to Madrid was delayed by another twenty minutes... that gave us just enough time to find our boarding gate!!

Next Stop MADRID!! The flight to Madrid was pretty ok considering the fact that it was just about 3hours.... and i had this Spanish couple sitting next to me... they did make some interesting conversation and they did tell me a lot about Spain... was funny... coz all through the trip.... he was the only Spanish person i spoke to(leaving aside the ppl at the hotels and the bars)... I did think that i would get an opportunity to meet loads of ppl... but sadly i dint!! Anyways it was really nice to speak to this guy....

The airport at Madrid was more like Earth... it atleast had some similarities to our Indian airports... I could see that it was a lil old.... And then... we went to get our baggage... and I did manage to get a word or two across to Neethu... or else most of the time... it was this huge smile that passed between the two of us!! As i was getting my luggage... Neethu who was standing just behind me comes over to me and was like "Look at dat guy there.... isn't tat KK... the singer... god... i'm such a big fan of his!" And sure enough i look around to see... it was KK... A few months before this trip... During the 25th anniversary celebrations of Infosys... they had called KK over to perform for us... and that was one amazing show... KK, or KrishnaKumar Menon as he was born, sure is a great performer. He could get the crowd moving.... But i really dint make it a point to go over to him and speak to him.. though i was really wondering wat he was doing here at Madrid... maybe some show at some private Indian party!!

We walked out of the airport to see these guys holding big placards(shaped as stars) welcoming us to Spain... it sure was nice to see this welcome... lil did i know that this was gonna be the beginning of many such lavish welcomes that ICICI had prepared for us!! At the hotel we had this welcome tea... (not really the High tea kinds... coz i don't think the ppl i was travelling with really did understand the decency involved in a HIGH tea!!). They handed us our room keys and two t-shirts... One was a jersey, something like a real madrid jersey... looked kinda nice... the other one was pretty plain.... Anyways i take my room key to see that they had made me share rooms with his Munshee guy... he's this guy from madurai... he knew my dad... more like he was my Dad's competitor...and i really dint think he was that great a guy!! I just resigned to the fact that i would have to put up with him over the next few days... Dint want that to dampen my mood.... I go over to the room... and man... it was mind-blowing... a sprawling room... so huge... was beautiful!! And these ICICI ppl had designed some labels and put them over the sheets... welcoming us to Spain and asking us to enjoy a Spanish Siesta.... sure that was a nice thing to do.... some creative stuff.. they had placed their banners and pamphlets all over the place... they sure were pampering us....

That was the beginning of my journey abroad..to Spectacular Spain... Siestas, Tortillas, Wine and Payella(sorry i don't think i got dat spelling rite... someone correct me please) included. There's more to follow..... Guillaume, Seema, sex shops, wine, food, Guiness beer, the metro, football, Flamengo, performances, dance, hookers and off course Neethu..... hang on for the next bit.... catch u soon ppl....

Sunday, December 10, 2006

How life goes now.....

Hey ppl....

Its been ages since i got back to this..... Gonna get regular again now....

Well let me tell you how my life has changed since i got to Infosys.... To a certain extent, I now understand the meaning of not being a student.. as in I now am a professional working for a reputed company... and I am enjoying this life. The fact that I am still on the bench without any project perhaps furthers this phase into a period of thinking and just trying to figure out where I'm headed! I like to call this phase a "Paid-honeymoon"....

I do have all the freedom in the world to walk around as i please..... indulge myself in good food and wine... i did think in the beginning that this would be a perfect phase for me to relax and also think about my future... But lately I've come to realize that I'm getting tired of relaxing and just lazing around the place and I aint really doing any useful or fruitful thinking....

So, I've decided to get my day busy with things that will make a difference to my life... I'm gonna start reading again... And when i get the time am also going to try to do some reading to take my management entrance exams....and maybe finally go to the GYM!! I used to want to do all of this when i was really busy and now that i'm free i don't feel like doing all of this... I am afraid of this lethargy that is setting into me!!

And you know wat?? During this phase that i dint blog... I'm done with my training here at Mysore... am posted here at Mysore itself... have shifted house twice... made new friends in Mysore... got some old friends here too... Gone to Spain and returned.... Went home for Nani's wedding function.... met some interesting people around the place who have got me thinking... so all of this has given me enough material to keep my blog going for months... So for all the people out there..... Keep coming back for things that i have learned over the past few months and how this has and will always affect the life i have ahead of me.....

Only for now... Good bye... and welcome to back to the world of Creativity.....


Sunday, June 25, 2006

Planet Infosys...

Well i never did think in my life that its possible to be in ure dream and still feel uncomfortable about it.... Well that's the way things are here!! Just imagine me sitting in an air-conditioned room... with a tv... and a great ambience.. one that i can only think of in my dreams... and still feeling like i wanna get out of this place.... God sometimes i think i'm going crazy... got such a nice room with the best campus one can dream off and i'm missing that room in dat government hostel that i was in... Sometimes i just wanna scream out loud... amd just run back home... but its just my reasoning and urge to go on dat keeps me here... its like i'm in such luxury but at the same time stuck in some jungle!!!

Guess its all the same to me now... Jungle or Infy... feels like i'm beginning something totally different in my life or reliving everything in my life... with all around me feeling new... I think i have this problem.... Even when i know i'm gonna fall into a put i take it easy thinking i can handle the pit when i get to it.... But when i do manage to fall into the pit I'm pretty much not able to understand wat's happening around me and then things begin to become a lil too heavy and that's when i feel like i'm totally lost... Just when i thought i had discovered and found myself... Now i got to start the whole process of understanding where i am... But things are gonna get better... well dat's how i convince myself!!!... Always say to ppl... "Don't worry"... When things are in the worst state possible, they can only get better!!!...

Well dat's how i'm pushing myself further... and the food here aint making things easier either....there are so many damn restaurants here and u would think that atleast one of them would have something edible... But to my surprise... well the food really aint making things easier... But i guess, the process of getting friends has begun and its only a matter of time before life will go on... and the process of change sets in and then again begins to work to damage wat i have.... Life can never be static.... always changing... dynamic thing i am in... but i guess dat's making me grow as a person!!! well there's a long journey in front of me.... Step by step i go on.......

Thursday, June 08, 2006

A letter to the Prime Minister...

This poem was written by me when i was 15 years old to the Prime Minister regarding the social evil of child labour:

Adressed to the highest power in the country,
You have the power to change society.
I am a child with a heart,
Requesting you to play your part.

If all were born equal to nature,
Why are these children put to such torture.
If you or I could bring about a change,
Lets get going and climb this range.

I call forth all the people with a conscience,
Who will put all they have to erradicate this nonsense.
When we unite we stand high and tall,
Stronger and tougher than any wall.

If all this is possible,
What right have we to be inaudible.
After all children are God's gifts,
Help them now as they need a lift.

There is no greater force or bond,
Anywhere on this planet's bounds.
As we carry love in our hearts,
Which still many need to be taught.

No laws and saws can help out,
In this situation of severe drought.
But i call out as a caring child,
Help me to carry this project high.

Please take note of this letter,
Don't discard this as just paper.
Its about time we woke up,
Its time we made a difference.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

About my previous post!

Well reading that poem now does bring back a mixture of feelings and also LAUGHTER!!! God was i such a kid then(u must be like, he's still a kid!!)... Anyways over the years i did realise that it wasn't really love that i was talking about but rather my first CRUSH!! Well its nice to introspect, and even the manner in which i have written that poem(please allow me to call that so!) makes me think of the person i was then and the person i am now.....

Have i really changed... Well that's a topic on which i can debate over for hours... Well but i think on a wholistic level, I am basically the same person that i was then but I may have just changed in my outlook...Well i'm gonna further analyse that later!!!

"When I fell in love" - My first poem.......

I was just doing some cleaning through my cupboard and I came across an old scrap book of mine... and it had some of the poems i first wrote and this particular one was the very first.This was when i was in the 10th std.(that would be when i was 14 years old). That was the first time i tried my hand at some poetry... and here it is....

When I turned fourteen and changed completely into a teen,
I met a girl that glittered,
Beautiful curls which put Cameroon Diaz's into the litter,
Her beauty to be compared to the crown jewels.
That made me decide that I wanted this jewel,
Then it flashed to me that I had fallen in love!

I tried to talk to her, Or rather impress her!
She was the friendly kind,
The type nobody would mind,
She was witty and intelligent,
All this made me nothing but urgent.

I tried to summon up the courage to tell her,
Always backing out with a tear,
I kept trying to tell myself i was brave,
But then i was lying to myself!

I told my friends about the matter,
Experienced, wise guys I'd say,
They laughed over it in such a way,
Believe me they couldn't sit, no way!

I asked them what was wrong,
They told me I was taking too long,
"For what", I shouted completely frustrated,
Together they said, "Its time you dated".

Then I decided it was high time,
And so I made up my mind,
I went through all my Shakespeare lines,
And then was all ready.

I went up to her full of fear,
All thorough with my Shakespeare.
"Oh beautiful one, It has struck me,
That I have fallen in love with thee,
What a couple, you and me!"

And as i waited for her answer,
I couldn't take the torture.
"Well", she said and up went my head.
She laughed, could u believe it.
"Pray tell me why you laugh at what I said",
Then it came,
"We could be the very best of friends".

So she said,
And then my heart bled.
As though it were being torn to shreds.
"Sorry", she said meekly,
"I understand", I said weakly.
"Bye", she said and with that one word,
Went my whole world!

This whole friend business,
Was all but a polite reference,
To slamming the door on your face.
As she walked away...
I decided to introspect.

These girls I tell you,
They are used to it.
A routine day of theirs,
Is filled with a heart or two of ours!

And so this little love story ends,
With the hero failing,
Very unlikely to bend,
With the truth of the end.

Well I still haven't travelled,
On the ungravelled pathway,
To a distant paradise called love,
This is all that happened when i first fell in love!!

Monday, June 05, 2006

Rendezvous at Virudhunagar

Just out of the weekend and i can't feel most parts of my body rite now!! But this weekend turned out to be one of the most memorable times of my life... My friends Guillaume, Clemence and Sarah came over and i took them on a tour(man that sure sounds funny) around Virudhunagar.....Well apart from the stuff we did, it was a different experience for me... In the sense i was worried when i first called them over as to how the reaction from my family would be. Off course my mom said i could call them over... But still the fact that our cultural background is so different and i know my mom well!!! She's got her set of principles and beliefs that no one would be able to change!!

But then, it turned out to be a great weekend... I guess it feels really nice to see friends and family getting on really well... The discussions over the table during meals was widespread and at times made my heart beat a wee lil faster(when topics such as alcohol came up!!), but then it went on smoothly overall!!

And at first i was apprehensive as to whether they would like to swim in the well at my farmhouse but at the end it was great... We sure did have a whale of a time there!! In fact.. this is like the first time in my life i'm having something to drink in Virudhunagar(It aint easy ok...everyone knows everyone in this town).... And the craziness in the jokes that were making the rounds made us(well atleast Guillaume) believe that my mom had fed him with some funny mushrooms!! He he.... And yes, before i forget, the topic of mutton!! Well i have always been having mutton to eat at my town and i have known that it was the meat of the goat. It seemed to be a surpirse to Sarah(who went on about it so many times) that we call Goat's meat, Mutton!!! She went to the extent of pointing to a cow at the farm and saying is dat wat u call Cow Mutton!!! God these were the types of crazy jokes doing the rounds.....

It was only last evening when they had to get onto the train to go to Madras that I actually felt something really deep inside of me and i realised that this weekend meant a real lot to me and also my family!! In fact this morning, my mom was like the house feels so empty without them and in a short span of two days it feels like my parents have known them for ages!!!

Another thing that was troubling me was my intuition but i'm gonna be putting dat to rest.... Its just that when i care for a person deeply, I just wanna be sure that i do nothing to spoil that relationship or make that person go far away from me... ANd when this intuitive feeling ran through me, I had this feeling of Deja Vu... like its happened in the past and it turned out to be through... But then i'm forcing myself to believe that its totally different here... Well it was easy as i was convinced too... Its all about trust i guess and more importantly who u trust... Well my life's gotta go on and i'm just a lil bit upset that it may be a long time before i again do meet this person i'm talking about and I know so strongly that this person means a lot to my life.......

And life in Virudhunagar goes on...........

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Looking too far ahead...losing wat's rite in front????

Well i'm just back from a few days in Madras(Chennai for those who insist)... and the heat is killing there... Well many things happened there and many things didn't... but I have come to believe that everything happens for a reason and that reason i think is for me to learn... So good or bad... I gotta learn something from all that's happening in my life....

It took me so much of time and going against all the things i strongly felt with or the principles that i had set over the past year to make up my mind... I realised what i wanted and that i was not going to give up my feelings easily... And even though other things like family,values expected of us, community rules,etc etc... are very important to me... These things now add up as constraints.... and yes distance... I guess all of this made me think for a long time... I had my swings in decisions in the beginning and i even tried to forget my feelings... But the more i tried to forget... the more it became clear to me that these feelings were important to me and i really didn't want to let them go....And then i began to weigh my options and then also tried to prioritize what was important to me... Believe me this took a lot of time and was mentally really stressful... And then i made a decision... and with that decision i went to madras....

But now on my return, well i have been successful, but not in the way i believed i would be when i left... but in a different way... I have really never felt at these extremes and then been totally stable... Off course there may have been a tear or two... but on the whole i held myself pretty well i feel... The first time i've been able to do this... guess i am growing... not a kid anymore..Well this is also a reason i feel better... and then there's this feeling that, yes someone does care and there are other things that have to go into a relationship... I am still thinking over it... and i have realised how important it is to respect the other person's feelings and personal space... and i should not keep my thoughts confined to my feelings and my needs... That would be being selfish... and this has been another sphere in which i feel i am learning... I'm glad to be patient and wait to see how things fare... whether it goes my way or against me... i'm sure now that both ways i will be a winner...And yes i have come to realise that in all the process of me beginning to look at what lies ahead of me years down the line, i'm actually losing sight of what lies right in front of me... Like riding a car or a bike on the road and looking way ahead and then going into a pot-hole right in front of u!!! And yes i guess the stock market has also reacted to the way i am behaving in this situation... he he... biggest fall in the history of the stock market... 825 points on a single day!! whew...

Sunday, May 07, 2006

The puppet that I really feel like!

About a week back when I did some serious thinking about who I really am, i came upw with some stunning but strikingly obvious.... Well let me lead u on to this revelation......

I started thinking of my life so far... Well for the record, i belong to a town called Virudhunagar(close to Madurai) born in a Nadar community. This community is pretty much in awe of itself and never dare to step beyond and is also conservative. Well i thought of the schools I went to, the important decisions that were made in my life, the movement through the different phases and i have realized that my participation towards making my life was hugely limited.... All through my life my decisions have been guided or rather set in front of me.... I now feel like these horses that are made wear these blinders so that they can only see wat their owners or trainers want them to see... and that is the road ahead of them... Their vision is so limited and they do not know anything other than the road... not even what lies on the side of the road!! Every decision of mine has had my parents telling me that this is what should be done... and they also make me feel the same way... obviously that's the only choice that is laid out in front of me....And i have followed feeling happy(Am i really happy???) Well I'll come back to this again at a later stage.....

There's also this concept of a shell that has been around me for all these years and still continues to be there.... its like this protective cocoon that has been wound around me by my parents and my society... This has led to my potential lying untapped i believe... I believe that i will be more enterprising and will use my potential more if i know that there isn't the matress waiting to catch me should i fall.... This shell gives me my limits and its basically like if i were to leave the shell I could never get back in... Like a nut's shell that when once cracked can never be put back together!!! I know some of u out there may be thinking..."Wat's wrong with this guy??? .... Its so nice to have so much security in life!" But believe me, there is so much of frustration that gets built up over the years... What if i had it in me to be the best singer there ever was, or the best cook(these are just examples!!!).... Now those don't even seem to be on the list of what i am allowed to do!!

Thus I feel like this puppet with so many strings around me controlling every movement of my body! Should i try to break lose.... Things become unstable... But i guess there will be a day or a moment wherein I really will want to break lose from all these strings and find out the real me......

Excuse me people but i really have to run now!! I'm at Coimbatore now to get my bus to go back home and i just realised that my bus is in some time... so i'll get back on this topic once i get home.... Later....

Rediscovering my earlier ages

I was at Ooty this weekend, I came for the Founders Day celebration at my school - Lawrence School, Lovedale and it was four days filled with nostalgic feelings....
I am coming back to school after six years...it was so wonderful meeting old friends.. Well not too many people turned up... There were 13 members of my batch who turned up but it was great....

I wonder at times whether its ever possible to lose friends... Well maybe it is... But this trip was like a rediscovery... Met some of these guys after so many years and still it was wonderful... Though most of them have changed physically, each and every one of them was fundamentally the same... They still behaved in the same manner and spoke in the same way... and i guess thought in the same way... Walking through the many corridors of my school with these guys brought back into my mind the memories from my school days.. I guess i am very much the person i am today mainly because of this wonderful institution.... which also includes the friends I had here... I walked all over school countless times... Went to the dormitory I was in when i was like 8 years old... Seeing the sheer size of the bed made me smile and think of all the things i had done when i was there... And the class rooms... Made me think of how then I used to always want to grow up and go to college so that i would have more freedom and would be more responsible!! But now I think I would give up so much just to re-live the life i lived there with all the friends that i had in school... Time has brought so many hurdles between so many people i thought i would always be in touch with throughout my life... There were few people I considered indispensable when I was in school and now I never hear from them...Or rather i don't let them hear from me(Why pass the blame!!)

This makes me worried and disturbed as the same is happening now... Today I have got my results for the final semester of college and I am now through with college in every aspect... So, where will this lead to... Off course, I am moving on to a new phase of my life... but wat about my friends... Will I again let time and distance move between our relationship?? I always have thought that after the relationship between one's parents, friendship is the most important... So many ways friendship is something that can bring u out of the deepest of moments and also help u relive the highest of moments... So now wat is friendship?? Is friendship a ship that is sailing on the ocean moving away from wat we want to see of is friendship the very Ocean?????

I have always felt that its good to fall, as if u never fall, U will never know how to pick ureself up when u eventually do! So now I've had to bid adieu to my friends already on two major occasions - Once when I left Lawrence and again when I left Montfort. And on both these occasions i've had a tear in my eye when I had to leave... I felt so strongly in my heart that i have to keep in touch with my dear friends no matter how or where life takes me.... But if i think of the number of the good friends that i've been in touch with... It hurts me... There are so few of them that i can still confidently say I'm in touch with... So will the same thing happen??? Will I find new friends who take more importance?? Its good of course to make new friends, but should this occur at the cost of old friends?? I really don't seem to understand!! Everything seems so confusing... wat ever it means... i sure do hope that the life i am to lead ahead always lets me understand that some of the good friends now carry a priority over many of the other things dat happen in my life... I don't want to lose more friends.... I think friends are too important in life...

So i think i am going to make a conscious effort to renew my contacts and regain the many wonderful friends i have made... and also keep my current friends... Its very important to do so....Friendship is like a plant that needs no water and can keep growing with no death but if watered can give the most beautiful flowers......

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Where and Why do u go!!!

Hey everyone...
Today i'm packing my bags to leave this college!! Been here for four years... amazing story its been... more on dat some other day.... But as i was cleaning up i found this poem of mine i had written like a long time back and thought i'd post it here.....

This darkness shows no day

In moments of despair,
I wonder how I'll fare.
Where did u leave me to be?
Blinding the eyes that you taught to see.

Where do I hold to stand?
Why did u throw me away?
I keep searching for your hand....
This darkness shows no day.

In the times that I weep,
The sadness into me it creeps.
Why did u say to me?
That with me u will always be??

I can't hold on anymore..
I'm lost without ure glow.
Where was I meant to be?
Where's the courage u gave me??

These wounds don't seem to heal,
Time going by, i can't feel.
Would you ever again hold me?
Can I ever again dream??

Should I go on ahead alone?
I've always walked with you.
And now I'm limping along...
My tears are never few.

The many things we shared,
The way in which you cared,
The sweetest smile I were to see,
The warmth in your touch I were to feel.

When I were to feel so low,
To you my heart's words I would pour.
Now why did you let go,
The happiness we shared I feel no-more.

The memories don't desert me,
Even long after u walked away.
Every little thing you said,
Doesn't dislodge itself from my head.

Your voice still lingers in my ear,
The lonely nights i fear.
Your every memory will always be with me,
Your spirit is in me with immortality.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

My first real Goodbye.......

Life has made me bid farewell to so many people… I have been lucky to have made countless friends… who as time would have its way, I’ve had to say good bye to… But it has always been a consolation knowing that someday I would be able to see them again….. So my goodbye then was in vain, coz it was just a momentary thing….

But today… I have actually learnt the meaning of good bye and what it means to say Good Bye to someone u care about and someone who has been a part and parcel of ure happiness and life…..Irene’s leaving to France today… don’t know if she’ll ever come back here… But I do know wat my Good Bye to her meant today… it meant Good bye friend… I HOPE to see u in the near future… But I feel I may never see u again… And that thought is disturbing… I know each and every one of us have our path to follow and the life we have forces us to go our ways… But then there’s always this lil thing in ure heart which wishes parting would not be so hard… And yes its difficult to meet people who actually make a difference in your life…

I have to part with most of my friends from college in a month’s time maybe…but then even if I can never meet all of them together.. at a moment’s notice I’m sure I’ll be able to meet the ppl I want to…. Because they are staying close to me…. And that makes me take things for granted I guess… Good bye doesn’t mean much to me then… though it may make me feel bad momentarily….

This sudden change in my head is disturbing…. The fact that I may never meet someone I feel is a nice person… Different things run through my head… Maybe I could have spent more time with her… Maybe I could have got to know her better… Have I lost out on some time I could have spent with her… I know I would have felt the same for any of my other friends… But this happened to be the first…

Before I met my French friends who by the way are very lovely and nice ppl… I never thought I could be friends with foreigners… ppl whose way of life is different from mine… But then once I got to know them it felt better… It wasn’t so difficult… even if I’m stuck in a room with ppl speaking just French and I strain to understand… Just the feeling that I was amongst friends made me feel all the better… But now the only regret that I have with making friends who are from a far away place happens to be the fact that how will I say goodbye to them… If I am so affected with saying goodbye to Irene… How will I feel when I will have to say goodbye to Guillaume, Audrey or Clemence…. ???? Will I be able to get back to my normal life… Am I to turn the page like it were a book on go on…. Yes I guess that’s wat I have to do and will be forced to do… But how I would like it if I knew they were just a moment’s distance away… Won’t that make parting easier… Well life has its ways… and nothing I do or say is gonna change anything… So I just have to get used to the fact that friends will remain friends no matter where they are on this planet as as ppl say I hope this world is getting closer and closer… The Global Village they call it… One day it should be easy to travel anywhere in the world without having to think over it… And I can just pray that all the friends that I have made during the course of my stay here should remember me and value me for the person that I was….Good bye dear friends…..If only I could change the way time and distance come’s between us… I hope the best for u….

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

A new beginning, A new dawn

Our early steps were filled with apprehension,
Moving around with widening eyes.
Casting a glance at all that was immobile,
Hoping for a new beginning, a new dawn.

Walking through numerous corridors,
We've evolved into sturdy and secure pillars.
But still we can never pass into oblivion..
The stories in them engraved, each so genuine.

The trees whispering their little secrets,
Standing through watching the silliest of quarrels.
The numerous ones they've seen come and go,
Sealed lips these secrets forever they hold.

Memories remain etched at so many a post,
Timeless bends these places are to host.
Emotions staying hooked on some layers,
These places and persons will forever be in our prayers.

The most obvious of times we study!
With open books for hours we sit and chat..
These discussions have made our economy all the more sturdy!
Worrying not about our grades suffering a set-back.

Timetables scheduled and deadlines to be met,
Tables drawn and lines to be set.
Classes discovering new purpose,
Probably a movie or a drink would suffice!

The professors we were deemed to respect,
Mostly with an ego so bad, we don't know wat to expect.
"I've seen thousands of you", they'd say...
"Then why not someone else", I'd pray!

The scent of flowers and the "huddling" of lovers,
The flirty looks and the more "devily" ones.
Small time romances to those of epic proportions,
Down our roads, we've seen all directions.

And now our steps have become larger,
We are to move on into a new threshold.
And again we are to go back to apprehension,
Hoping for a better beginning, a better dawn.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

The stains we sometimes leave....

Life is got its times when u are forced to regret.....
So many instances u wish u could have undone...
So many times u wish u hadn't been in...

But then....
There were the times in which u could secretly smile,
Times u could think of all the wonderful joys,
With friends making u drown in heavenly delight,
These times can bring u back from the deepest troughs.

But then....
I was a person who was always filled with laughter..
Engulfing all around in the silliest happiness.
And now when i am to say goodbye....
It pains to think that I am to leave stains behind...
On an otherwise clean sheet.....

This journey ahead... will help me regain lost ground...
Time helping to cut the many deeds I want undone...
Moments of distress going down the tunnel....
To see light at the end... And move on and on....

These stains we sometimes leave....
Is there any moment in which we can have them cleaned??
Or will they help us remember,
The many things life has had for us to see???

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Road Trip to Kerala....Amazing!!!

Well it all started with this Q-Quest function of ours.... All my friends left on Thursday night by train to Cochin... But Pune and me stayed back as our paper was selected and we had to present it on Friday!! Well staying back saved its purpose... We came second in the competition... Pretty Good...

We then were running around Egmore station trying to find a bus that would take us directly to Thekadi or atleast somewhere near the place!!! There was a Volvo semi-sleeper which seemed all great until this person told us bout this sleeper bus(a/c). Seemed like a good idea and we decided to go for it....

The bus came, we walked in... man it was amazing!!! Had berths... each berth was like a double bed... with curtains that made it like a cubicle!! Was really comfortable... And then.. wat next... Speak to the drivers!! he he... those guys were cool and they were ok with us doing anything in the driver's cabin of the bus!!.. So now we had a place to smoke in the bus!! Just wat we needed.... The view from the bus was great... Nice to see lights whizz past u as ure lying down.... INCIDENTLY, i happened to have two bottles of beer in my bag... which we CONVENIENTLY placed under the a/c duct... Within about an hours time it was chill.... In the meantime we played some rummy(cards)... And did i pity Pune at the end of it... The guy lost all the three games we played...!!!! "Cheating, etc etc...", he screamed!! But the bottom line was that he LOST!!!! Anyways to give him his credit... he thought he finished his game and dropped his cards down only to realise he had overlooked something!!! Eventually losing dat game too!!! He he....

Anyways, wat else did we need.... Ah yes, a bottle opener!! So we went to the driver's cabin with the bottles and the cleaner guy there just bit the cap off!!!
One beer later and a couple of cigarrettes later... we went to get the second beer chilled... Once it was chill, we go back to the driver's cabin to see the Cleaner guy sleeping!!! So PUNE actually managed to bite the cap off... Dude... Was i impressed!!!! Anyways another beer down... it was good... felt good... We decided our favourite brand of beer was VORION 6000!!! We stopped for diner and then got to sleep!!! But this was one bus journey i will never forget in my life.... The best in fact!!

Well this bus was only upto a place called Kambum.... after that we had to get a bus either to Kumli or thekadi... So we hopped on to a bus and got down at Kumli and here i am... Have to wait here for more friends to join. One of my friends has got us permission to stay at a guest house here.. so gotta wait for him... Dint know wat to do...Saw this browsing centre at this "Post-Office". How come i haven't seen any at our Tamil Nadu post offices!!!! Anyways.. It was nice to cross this check post at Kumli and say "Man, we're in Kerala now!!!!, There's mallu written all over!!!" He he... There's a temple near this place with loud music playing!! OK ppl... I gotta sign off now... More on Kerala - "God's Own Country", yet to come!!!

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Just another day except for.........!!!!!

Well today's been a day of sorts!!!! More on the negative side though... i decided to vent my feelings here... So bear with me ppl.....

For starts, the day was all good till evening after my dance class(yes i am still going for my dance class). I left with guillaume to clemence's place and Karthik left for college.... Well we planned a nice evening with food and some drinks at Clemence's place as Arnav and Will(her friends) were to leave tomorrow.... So we called Dhaba and ordered some food... Then I get a call from Karthik saying he's in an accident and needs help immediately... So i leave immediately from T Nagar and get to Kotturpuram.. Get there to see Karthik's car in a bad shape and a Honda City ahead also in a pretty bad shape... Luckily no one's hurt there.... So then since we dint want to register a case with the cops, we had to come up with a compromise, though i wanted to yell at the other guy... coz he was talking to Karthik like no one makes mistakes in the world! For heaven's sake, we told the guy that we would cover all his expenses!!!!

Anyways, after dealing with Karthik's car and dropping Karthik at the hostel, I go back to Clemence's place to see dat they're still waiting for the food!!! It was one and a half hours since i left the place and there was no food!!! So i call the Dhaba guys and very decently ask him where the food was!! He said it wud be there in five minutes. A dozen calls and another half an hour later, a guy comes with food from Dhaba!!! So then i called the manager and had an argument with him again. We agreed to take the food if it were given to us at half the cost or else we were leaving to another restaurant to have our food!! After another hectic argument, we sent the guy off with the food and set off to have our diner at Murugan Idly Shop(which is open till 12 in the night). The time now was bout 11.35.

Then we walk down to the gate of Clemence's house and find it locked!!! "Oopsie... we gotta wake the watch-man", I thought... But then Clemence comes with a bunch of keys saying the watch-man had given her a spare key to the gate!!! "Wow, dat's cool", I thought to myself. We go try to open the gate to find out dat the "Smart watchie" had changed the lock. So now we gotta wake him up. Guillaume and myself move over to wake him up(he's fast asleep under a mosquito net) and he refuses to open the gate saying we are not allowed to go out after 10!!! Since when did watch-men decide when their house-owners were to leave and return to their place... So when i started arguing with him... it went on for some time... To the extent wherein my dear Bro, Guillaume got angry and yelled at him asking him to open the gate. Then he made some totally lewd and uncalled for statement about Guillaume and the fact that he is a foreigner!!! This got me worked up!! For heaven's sake he's working here and wat rite does he have to speak badly bout a person he hardly knows!! I was very angry and worked up!! Things got hotter and if not for a small gap, I guess the guy would have been hammered and brought to where he deserves to be!! He ran to the secretary's house! Well this lady came out... I told her the problems and well she was very understanding!!!! Well it ended with her asking that guy to open the gate for us!!!

Well this incident got me thinking!! Why do people have to come up with opinions about ppl without really knowing them??? That guy was angry with the fact that foreigner's were staying there and they come and go at wat ever time they want!! But for crying out aloud, who is he to care... He's gotta do his job and mind his own business!!! He needn't care bout wat other ppl do.. As long as he minds his own family(I came to know later that he's got two wives!!). So i guess dat wud mean he's got a lot of family to tend too... So why poke his nose into other ppl's lives..... Well i'll leave this topic for now and get back to it later when i have more time!!!

Well, apart from all this, it was a wonderful evening at Clemence's place with friends...And yes, there was more in store for me when i got back... Audrey's back... Feels good to know a good friend is back... Got her message just as i started typing out this post!!! Wud be great to meet her tomorrow after like a month!!!!

And yes, my Industrial Visit(Tour) plan got through and so my class guys are leaving tomorrow night to Cochin!!! My paper, the one on "Value based Approach towards identifying Quality Bottle-Necks" got selected for Q-Quest!! Pune and myself had submitted for last years Q-Quest. But last year's even was cancelled and hence it was automatically taken as an entry... Cool!!! Thing is its on Friday morning... So we guys are gonna attend the presentation and then leave only on Friday night!! We'll join our guys at Cochin or Thekady I guess!!! Anyways... well today couldn't be just another day right??????

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Let us make our Destiny- Mr.P.Chidambaram

I have taken these lines from the speech of Mr.P.Chidambaram, our Finance Minister. This is from the opening lines of his budget presentation.

"The Young people of India are building castles, it may appear that these castles are in the air, but as Henry David Thoreau said : If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them"

I think these lines sum up the aspirations of many Indians such as myself... looking on ahead with an optimism that can only take us miles ahead... The world is already closely watching the pace at which our country is developing!! And oh yes, Mr. Bush is here!!!! I guess he's thinking of wat he can take away from here!!!! Guess he know's there's no way he's gonna get away with bullying China and so he's trying to extend his "helping arm" here with us!!

Swami Vivekananda's immortal words:

" We reap what we sow. We our the makers of our own fate. The wind is blowing; those vessels whose sails are unfurled catch it, and go forward on their way, but those which have their sales furled do not catch the wind. Is that the fault of the wind?????.......
We make our own Destiny"

I guess that sums up all we need to know in life!!!!

Annexe to my post: Selfishness Vs Villainy!!!

Well i guess i got into controversy with that last post of mine.... And after re-thinking .... I have decided to modify my idea in the following ways.....

Selfishness is in-born and is in each and every human being... But selfishness does not have to mean Villainy... Lets try and classify...

Selfishness is when u do something for ure own happiness....So can villainy be... But the thin line that divides selfishness from villainy is the plain fact that when u do something good for ureself and when the other person also is happy from wat u are doing- the act can be deemed selfish but it is good. That is the person is happy that you have helped him with something, but the fact is u actully will land up being more happy than him!!!!

When u do something for ure pleasure(note the word pleasure) causing pain to another person, that wud be deemed as a case of villainy!!! So pleasure and happiness can mean two different things... The happiness u derive from some pleasure is just momentary.

This classification i obtained as the result of a discussion with my friend Guillaume!!!! Hope i have been a lil more clear with this post!!!!

Welcome to India

well just got my hands on this song... which in its own different way describes India.. Its pretty funny... thought i'd upload it so everyone can listen to it... The lyrics go like this....

Welcome To India Mc Vikram Feat. Ludakrishna Yaa,
MC Vikram and Luda Krishna representing you,
That's right ... increase the volume please ... thank you.

Welcome to India, mango juices and lassi, samosa crazy desis
and little kids that are milking the bhainses.
Toothbrush in my pocket, what is that?
We use our fingers here to keep our teeth clean, who said that?

Luda Krishna here, Vikram owns the Tata gears,
and I'm sitting in the Maruti Supreme,
with the cooling glass on no one bothers me.
because stars since the ever famous Mamooty.

Come with me to a place where we sip Frooties
and we eat the sweets while monkeys roam the streets.
Old uncle sits - big belly and very smelly (burp!)

Thank you Vikram, would you please pass the jelly,
I mean the pickle, hand it down this way, no mistake.
We greet the people at the end of the day!
Sixty five people hanging out, the door starts coming out.
Therefore, please don't raise your hand, you are not sure.

I broke into the local corner-store,
bought myself a very nice looking carrom board.
My fingers get sore when I shoot and I score,
and the ladkis all scream coz they all want some more,
of the Luda Krishna and the Vikram MC,
Sweetest things to hit the States since Mango Chutney.
We keep the kundis shaking, you better trust me.The name is Luda Krishna,
but my friends call me Sandeep, what!? (burp!)

Ohhh, Vikram, is that you my friend?!
That is me my friend!Oh, please enter this rap game!
Ok man! C'mon ... tell me where you are going my friend.

Welcome to India where the cows eat hay,
and we drive auto-rickshaws everyday,
Goat-meat, yummy sweets while monkeys roaming,
The roosters don't crow till five in the morning! (2x)

Now the kundis don't jiggle till I am rapping,
So please don't pass the gas when you are laughing.

Up the music charts like mango trees I climb,
With a smooth voice like mine, is it a crime
Representing rap music since ninety seven?
Rap maharaja, I don't work at 7-Eleven.
Throw your hands in the air if you've got facial hair,
Not just for the guys, c'mon ladies be fair!

I'm the MFCs most obvious player,
Wearing hot lungis, do you think I really care?

Monday night - computer club,
Tuesday night - at Akbaar rotary saying "Sweet thing, what is up?"
Wednesday - I'm out making Rupees
Thurday - On the lookout for Bharatnatyam queen
Friday - Everybody must know where I'm at, coz I'm chilling on the field with my big cricket bat.
Saturday - my farts are breezy ... believe me,so strong they will get you mad dizzy,
Sunday - Yaar, I cannot start weepingbecause on Monday I will start the creeping .. Hallo!

Ohhhh ... I love that my friend!
Yaa dawg, that was funda-stic.
Hey thank you, you're fabulous!
Oh, thank you my friend! Oh ...

Welcome to India where the cows eat hay,
and we drive auto-rickshaws everyday,
Goat-meat, yummy sweets while monkeys roaming,
The roosters don't crow till five in the morning! (2x)

Oh, oh, Go Luda, go Luda.
Ah, its my b'day!That is your b'day man!Yaaaaah.
You know boy!Oh oh oh ... it's great!
Ah, Indian my friend. Good night!
Alright, goodbye ... kiss my buttocks!!

Click on this link to download the song....

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Selfishness Vs Villainy

Hey ppl....
for a long time this topic has been in my mind.... One day when i was thinking of what made ppl become villains or wat made us do things that were deemed to be bad by other people!! And when i started thinking, it all led me to one common end point. They did it for themselves... Some personal pride offended or someone doing something to offend one's feelings... and so the list is endless... But it all goes back to the fact that the person does something because of himself or herself....
So would that also mean that the person was being selfish???? Am i losing u here?? Well lets put it this way... A selfish person is one who puts his interests before another person's!! (I hope i'm right on this definition)... Well if u agree with that.. lets go to the next stage...A villainous person or a wicked person who does something wrong, also with one's own interest's in mind... That is putting his or her interests before the other persons!! So would that be the same??? You don't need to be a Ramanujam to equate that! So would that mean that selfishness and villainy are the same???
But u may be like both terms are used in the negative sense... so wat's the big deal... But let's analyze the situation this way... Wat are u living for ... the basic fact is that u are living for the world that u create around u.. U are living hoping that u set ureself into a different surrounding preferable to u...That is again self-interest in mind... (I'm not yet saying this is being selfish)... And then...however much u deny it... All other things would take a backseat... As far as it comes to things working out the way you would like them to work out!!! Even if u are giving up something(another concept i would love to speak loads on, but i'll save it for later), you are doing it for another person or a cause that u deem more important than the cause in question.. So eventually you do something as u prefer that to something else... That is any human being's core common tendency... Thus we are selfish in all that we do.. Right from deciding with which friend u want to spend more time with to even the time when u wanna decide which restaurant u wanna go to when ure with friends.. We're always selfish... So are we also villains in our own way???? Think about it... Are we all villains hiding behind the veils of society????

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

The lonely tree

Well i had posted a picture of a lonely tree in my last post... A few days back as i was going around Chennai with a friend.. I happened to catch site of this tree which made a beautiful picture and I caught this pic on my mobile...

I clicked this pic near Ega theatre... Wonderful aint it... Alone in the middle of the lake... Strong as ever... Oblivious of the happenings around..

Monday, February 13, 2006

Are You Lonely???

Have you ever sat down anytime and wondered about the purpose of your very existence in life??? The fact that life is limited to just you and all u see or hear around you and not the entire globe as u are made to think. Life is not a constant state, it can be said to be a variable state which changes according to the person who uses the word.

For instance, when u are talking about life, U are only referring to all that you can see and all that u know about or rather all the people in your social network, the happenings in your life and all that happens within a radius of ure existence. And while the discussion's on these lines, have you ever thought of the fact that you may be very alone. All other people around you are just figments of your life.... the fact that is intricately hidden in the threads of the projected image of LIFE!

Can it be true that you as a person are totally alone, and all others are just around you for you to learn how to play the game... How to move the pawns on this chess-board of life??? Like the tree in the picture, despite the fact that it is alone on deserted land, it stands strong and will stand the test of time....Come what may...

I sometimes think over this fact for hours... I do not dispute the fact that emotions and blood forges bonds with people around us. But we are born into this world to be an independent person and how much ever we may think other-wise, we are living for ourselves and not someone else(though we may live to be happy with someone else). Thought that would also be an individual's decision.

Thus it is only in times of problem or reflections into oneself that we come to realise that the life we are living is one that is lonely. The only companion you have is your thoughts and experiences. The experiences that you have been through act as a pathway showing you how you may tackle new problems in life. Thus, experiences are a steadfast companion!!!

So give it a thought.... Are you Lonely?????

Trying to play Kabbadi!!

Well... I met Guillaume after so many days... Well had loads of work the last week and so dint have time to meet many of my friends...

But yes.... I did get lucky enough to have the time to meet Gabrielle- She's Guillaume's gal friend. And yes she's a wonderful person, really sweet, cute, nice person to talk to... and yes someone who can tame my crazy brother!!! Lol... Hey Audrey if ure out there reading this.... Gabrielle's a great person... And of course we miss u here at India!! Hope ure having fun there at France....

Well the group of us wanted to go to the beach to just relax(time was bout 11:30 in the evening) and so we walk onto the Besant Nagar beach to see cops chasing us telling us the "beach was closed to the public" at this time.... Now now.... have u heard of beaches being on holiday and being closed!!! Well i guess the cops were being very polite to us because of the fact that they wouldn't have wanted to be questioned by the French embassy!!! He he... I had just finished explaining the rules of kabbadi to everyone and we were just thinking of getting down to playing a game of kabbadi!!! But then we were asked to leave the beach!!!

Well now Guillaume is off on a week's trip to Kerala... And me sitting here without two of my best buddies.... Guillaume and Audrey!!! Well guys... me waiting!!! he he he.....

Antigone - Find the Antigone in yourself

Hey everyone....
I'm back... I know its been a long time... I've been a lil busy... Excuse me....

My sister acted in the Stella Maris play called Antigone... Named after the main character Antigone... Well i am not a person very well read on Greek mythology and greek literature!! But this play did make me reflect though it was a very modern rendering of the original story(they actually had phones and video games as part of the play!!!)

But the basic concept remained the same... The wonderful thing in this story is unlike so many stories we here all around us, we will not be able to find a villain in this story. As every person is very justified in the way he behaves. Well let me at first outline the story for you.

Creon is the king of Thebes and his niece is Antigone. Polynices is Antigone's brother and is deemed a traitor and a rebel. And so Creon has decreed that Polynices' body should not be given a proper religious burial and should be let to rot at the gates of Thebes. The central theme of the play is the battle between Antigone's personal beliefs and the principles that dictate an autocracy. The fight between an individual's rights and what is percieved as the common good! Antigone represents any human being and Creon represents the ruling powers.

Antigone's beliefs stands with being a good sister and she wishes to give her brother a decent burial despite the fact that her uncle, King Creon has decreed that any person attempting to give Polynices a decent burial would be put to death. And yes there is one more important character in this story, Haemon, who is the King's son who is in love with Antigone and is to marry her.

Antigone attempts to bury her brother's body(with a kid's showel!) and gets caught in the attempt and is brought to the King by his guards. The scene that ensues is one which will make any person reflect for hours.

The King ask's Antigone to give up her attemp and tells her he will save her by silencing the guards. But Antigone refuses saying she will not give up her attempts to bury her brother... Well the king tries desperately to convince Antigone as the king knows that his son is in love with her and he wants her to live on. But she is willing to face death in the process of standing for her principles and beliefs.

There is an instant wherein Antigone asks Creon why he became King when Creon was actually not interested in becoming King. Creon was a very talented person and had other interests! But he had to take responsibility i.e. as she very rightly put it, he said "yes" when he should have said "no". The play makes us think of many things that we do in light of being in the 'common good' that we actually don't want to do.. Each one of us have made so many decisions that are highly influenced by what is deemed to be the common good and what we ought to do rather than what we want to do... Or what we believe in doing... This hypocracy has its root deep into our society... We speak for hours on what we believe and our ideas but our actions often take a different route, all being in the idea of looking good or looking correct in the face of society.

Well as destiny had it, Creon could not convince Antigone to give up her futile attempts and the rest is history. But as Creon was trying to get Antigone to understand what she had to live for, he said she was young and had a 'happy' life to look forward to. To this she questioned as to what he meant by a 'happy' life for her. Whether it was living in the castle and being a good wife. Likewise each one of us feign happiness with so many of the different things we act like we love doing!! After his futile attempts, Creon says it was impossible for him to convince Antigone and he could not 'condemn her to live'. That one phrase made me think for hours at end. I spent a night thinking of that. When a person strongly believes in something, and sees death as just a path following the course of action he takes, then the trivial happiness promised by life is nothing that can change his or her decision. He or she cannot be condemned to live.

Thus, when we think of society on the whole today most of us aren't making decisions that we strongly believe in but are rather making decisions that we feel we should strongly believe in!

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

CEG and Sathyabhama - A comparative analysis

Well was out with a few friends today and one of them was talking to another friend about colleges like Anna University and Sathyabhama!! The comment she made went like this.. "U know now in colleges like Anna University and Sathyabhama life is so difficult for the students!" I was shocked, and then she went on to describe how both these colleges had dress codes and a ban on cellphones. Well I jumped into the conversation at this point totally angry with the ideas that people form over our college....

But then I got down to do some thinking(been doing a lot of that lately), and yes to a certain extent things at Anna University have been going down to the level of Sathyabhama. And for those of u who don't know wat Sathyabhama's about, well its like a school(some schools are better) with a serious dress code.. A very strict ban on cell phones, And of course guys aren't supposed to talk to gals etc etc... U aint even allowed to keep a discman or walkman in the hostel. I think that's heights!! And now the ba@%$d that we gotta call VC here in our college is taking our college on the same lines!! I sometimes wonder wat he's got in his head!

The guy's actually so jobless that he goes around the place looking for gals wearing mini skirts bikinis i guess... Is the guy crazy??? And yes as LiveWire pointed out in her blog... The ass dint even know that we had smart cards already in existence in our college.. He's so busy upto nonsense.... I think our college has always had a great atmosphere and a wonderful mix of students... And never have i seen a guy or gal "indecently" dressed. In today's fast moving world, how does a pair of "jeans" affect anyone?? Well that's Vichu f@#*&r 's problem. Guess since the guy's been single for such a long time, even seeing a gal in jeans seems to be disturbing him!!! And mobile phones, well I agree that maybe a ban on using it inside classrooms is fine, but on campus??? Wat are we hostel students supposed to do then??? Use the one damn phone that each hostel has?? Well we're staying away from our parents and it is necessary to be able to speak to them! And frankly speaking, I don't think a ban is necessary at all... Most students in college are above the age of 18 and should be able to decide for themselves what they should be doing and what they should not be doing!!!

And just imagine publishing an article on porn in Anna University in the newspaper!! It was in the Hindu for heaven's sake. Is he trying to bring our college name to the streets?? About that article, he published an article in the paper saying he had caught some students watching porn in the hostel. He even gave a press conference on this issue, trying to point out that students were still immature and that they needed to be guided.. blah..blah... blah...

Well about those porn movies- they were "Girl Next Door" and "Poison Ivy". Two Hollywood movies!!! Wat is happenin to that guy??? It seems to me that he just gets up everyday thinking of how to get his photo in the paper everyday... Seems to be looking for some kind of "junk" popularity!!!

There was this interview on NDTV with Vichu, Karthik Chidambaram and Barkha Dutt. Well i did not see this interview, but i have heard a lot about this!! Karthik Chidambaram rightly asked him, "I thought u guys were busy building the scientists and engineers of India, and u seem to be busy worrying about wat ppl are wearing!, Don't u have anything else to do!!". Well very true... I guess Vichu thinks its his duty to check whether gals are covered from top to bottom and to check whether anyone's watching a "porn" movie! What would anyone from a foreign university think of our college and of course our "dear" Vice Chancellor??? One hell of a pervert the guy is!!

Well coming back to Anna University and Sathyabhama, I think our college still has a long way to go before this b@#$a$d can take it to the Sathyabhama level... But i don't think its impossible for the guy!!! He's so bloody narrow-minded that i'm sure he'll change things slowly...

I feel that in college, responsibility is wat we learn the most. Being free to do as u please, but still doing the thing that u think best for ureself. This is wat i have learnt. I have had my share of bad experiences(loads of dat) but at the end have come out a wiser person. These lessons are more important to me than any others that i have learnt in my classrooms! If you were to bind a person, to a post with rules and regulations, will that help him grow as a person?

Would that help him mature into a responsible adult??
Would that bring out the best in him when in unpleasant situations?
Will he be able to tackle the many hurdles in life?

After all education lies beyond our books, It lies in the path we take and decisions we make. But as all other final year students(we're gonna finish our course here in a few months), we just crib about the way things are going, and feel sad for our juniors. None of us think of doing anything!!!
Well, someone should cage that ass and keep him there for a few years to teach him a lesson!!

Join the Paritrana party

Hi everyone... Keep spreading the word on Paritrana.. Its the least we can do to help these courageous guys... And you can join the party by filling up a form available at their website.
Their website is www.paritrana.org

And here's a link to an interview with Paritrana’s national treasurer - Chandrashekhar. I hope you find it interesting.

Monday, January 30, 2006

Exams at Anna University

Well was going through my friend Pune's blog and he had this interesting post on how we study for our exams.. Actually how we change in the way we prepare for our exams in the four years that we are here in Anna University and i thought i'd share some of my thoughts with u guys!!

Well like he has rightly put on his post....
First year - We start studying one week before the exam
Second Year - Maybe about three days before the exam
Third Year - About a day before the exam
Final Year - The morning before the exam.. maybe open the book to see where each topic is!

Well this is how we are now... We don't really get worried or upset that we have an exam the next day. Schedules don't get postponed or appointments don't get cancelled just because we have an exam the next day.. Life just goes on!!! Its just another day in our lives!!!

Well I guess our attitudes change with time... Now we have developed different ways of making sure we get good marks. Ironically over the years, my marks have been increasing!!! He he.... Marks increasing as the time I spend for a subject decreases!! An inverse realationship!!

Well there are so many reasons for that... The main one being the C2D policy... Well for those of you who haven't read Five point Someone by Chetan Bhagat, C2D stands for Co-operate to Dominate. Well its a process wherein each of us split wat we need to study!!! He he... There are other reasons too as to why grades increase but I aint going to go into the details of that!!! Well thus that explain why I can score 40+ in an exam for 50 (Its an exam in C++) without knowing how to code a line in C++!!!

Anyways... We've just got another three months or so to finish college and now we've learnt how to survive and get through our courses without a problem! Well i got an exam on Ethics tomorrow... And me still gotta get down to opening my book... I better get down to doing that or else i won't be able to make my contribution to the group.. Well guys catch u later... And for further help on the policy of C2D just voice ure views in the comments or in the shoutbox and i'll get back to u on that!!!! Au revoir... A demain

Sunday, January 29, 2006

What lies ahead...

Well i've gone over this so many times within myself... Wat lies ahead for me.. 21 years of my existence has come to pass and now what is waiting for me ahead??

When I was a small kid in a school called Cliff School at Ooty, I was just waiting to leave school and join Lawrence School, Lovedale(yes i knew i was going there after my third standard). To me then, Lawrence was a school for big children and it meant a lot more freedom! Things went on and I did get to Lawrence eventually. And then my life went on... We have three smaller schools in Lawrence(divisions of hostels and classes actually)- Prep School(upto 6th std), Junior School(upto 8th std) and Senior school(upto 12th std). I kept waiting to go ahead... And when I did get to Senior School I looked forward to getting out of there too. I left Lawrence School in the 10th std and went to Montfort School, Yercaud and was there till my 12th.

I kept looking for change.. And when I did get there I kept looking ahead.. But sometimes deep inside I miss my earlier years. Now I am on the verge of finishing my college at Anna University, Chennai(College of Engineering Guindy). Today, i think back at all those years and wonder how life has changed for me over the years. So many different incidents which have on the way shaped my character and perspective over life... Here lies the irony of the journey.. Always looking to go ahead and still looking back and wondering whether life was better then! So many different bonds of friendship, so many different types of people and ways of life.

Now when i wonder what lies ahead for me, I'm also wondering about whether I would actually prefer to go back into time and re-live my school days. I still remember those times in which I would get into some trouble in school and wonder why I was in it in the first place. Now i laugh at those days and feel it did help me become a better person on the whole. Well now atleast i've become a little clear on what I'm gonna be doing after I finish my college. I am going to join the software company Infosys. That would take me to Mysore for about three or four months which would mean a new change in my life-change in my environment and change in friends. Which again looks exciting but at the same time brings in a sadness of sorts, having to leave my college, my friends here. I don't know how many of my friends I will still retain over the years to come. Like in school, when i was going to leave, I felt this way and was so sure i would keep in touch with most of my friends. But today I guess I am in touch with only a few of my really close friends from school. I have no idea about the whereabouts of the rest of them.

And further on, after I join the company, will I stay on for many years or will I leave to study further or join another company! So many roads to take, each one of them looking equally promising! The only thing I know for certain is that I will have to leave my current set-up. The future can be so confusing. Also, there is always the pressure of living up to my parent's aims and aspirations for me. But that doesn't bind me into their already mapped journey for me!

I think I have always been a thinker, a person with ideas flowing. And one who believes that success does not lie in the grades and academic excellence of a person. Rather it lies in the way, a person can view a problem and come up with a solution that is not prescribed in any books. So its all about developing the way you look at what lies in front of you. Thus a person can be successful in any place as long as he is able to bond himself to what he has to do and think along the lines of his work. So i need to be in a position to contribute to change and this I guess will take me a long way. Renumberations will only be a by-product of "out-of-the-box thinking".

I feel that most people lose their individuality after they settle into their jobs comfortably and live a stereotypical life. They don't need to think too much as solutions to most of their problems are already documented and they would feel lost if a new problem was put in front of them. To solve such problems, they would then spend loads of the company's money by means of hiring consultants who by the way are mostly people who think out-of-the-box! So one should be careful not to keep his thinkings within the confines of staying within what is expected to him and instead always think of all the possibilites.

Well coming back to what lies ahead, The future always evokes a myriad of thoughts but the past evokes a myriad of occurences and bonds. So we need to remember the past as we step into the future.

Paritrana - The future of India

Well I was amazed after i read a mail from a friend of mine. It spoke about Paritrana- a political party formed by young students from IIT. Well looks like they've taken a leaf out of Mani Ratnam's Yuva! Five IIT'ians form the core of this party and all of them are in their 20's.

It isn't easy giving up fat pay-cheques and campaigning around the country. So why don't we lend them our support and maybe see them make a difference to the political scenario in our country. We have seen our country being governed only by people over the age of 60(conservative estimate). Maybe it is time now for the youth of India to make a difference to the country.

I think it would have taken tremondous courage on the parts of these students. Having studied in such world-class institutes, they must be under heavy pressure from their families and friends to take up good jobs or study further. But their continued efforts must be lauded.

When we sit and chat with friends over the Indian political scenario(well we do discuss politics once in a while!), we always do find fault with most of the things happening around us. We criticize every politician and blame corruption for the state of matters in our country. But if we were to think of doing something about this, I don't think one of us would be ready to lift a finger.... Most of us are too worried about our jobs or higher studies!

So here's to the success of Paritrana... spread the message around.. And the link to the article about Paritrana that was published in the economic times is given below.