Sunday, June 25, 2006

Planet Infosys...

Well i never did think in my life that its possible to be in ure dream and still feel uncomfortable about it.... Well that's the way things are here!! Just imagine me sitting in an air-conditioned room... with a tv... and a great ambience.. one that i can only think of in my dreams... and still feeling like i wanna get out of this place.... God sometimes i think i'm going crazy... got such a nice room with the best campus one can dream off and i'm missing that room in dat government hostel that i was in... Sometimes i just wanna scream out loud... amd just run back home... but its just my reasoning and urge to go on dat keeps me here... its like i'm in such luxury but at the same time stuck in some jungle!!!

Guess its all the same to me now... Jungle or Infy... feels like i'm beginning something totally different in my life or reliving everything in my life... with all around me feeling new... I think i have this problem.... Even when i know i'm gonna fall into a put i take it easy thinking i can handle the pit when i get to it.... But when i do manage to fall into the pit I'm pretty much not able to understand wat's happening around me and then things begin to become a lil too heavy and that's when i feel like i'm totally lost... Just when i thought i had discovered and found myself... Now i got to start the whole process of understanding where i am... But things are gonna get better... well dat's how i convince myself!!!... Always say to ppl... "Don't worry"... When things are in the worst state possible, they can only get better!!!...

Well dat's how i'm pushing myself further... and the food here aint making things easier either....there are so many damn restaurants here and u would think that atleast one of them would have something edible... But to my surprise... well the food really aint making things easier... But i guess, the process of getting friends has begun and its only a matter of time before life will go on... and the process of change sets in and then again begins to work to damage wat i have.... Life can never be static.... always changing... dynamic thing i am in... but i guess dat's making me grow as a person!!! well there's a long journey in front of me.... Step by step i go on.......

Thursday, June 08, 2006

A letter to the Prime Minister...

This poem was written by me when i was 15 years old to the Prime Minister regarding the social evil of child labour:

Adressed to the highest power in the country,
You have the power to change society.
I am a child with a heart,
Requesting you to play your part.

If all were born equal to nature,
Why are these children put to such torture.
If you or I could bring about a change,
Lets get going and climb this range.

I call forth all the people with a conscience,
Who will put all they have to erradicate this nonsense.
When we unite we stand high and tall,
Stronger and tougher than any wall.

If all this is possible,
What right have we to be inaudible.
After all children are God's gifts,
Help them now as they need a lift.

There is no greater force or bond,
Anywhere on this planet's bounds.
As we carry love in our hearts,
Which still many need to be taught.

No laws and saws can help out,
In this situation of severe drought.
But i call out as a caring child,
Help me to carry this project high.

Please take note of this letter,
Don't discard this as just paper.
Its about time we woke up,
Its time we made a difference.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

About my previous post!

Well reading that poem now does bring back a mixture of feelings and also LAUGHTER!!! God was i such a kid then(u must be like, he's still a kid!!)... Anyways over the years i did realise that it wasn't really love that i was talking about but rather my first CRUSH!! Well its nice to introspect, and even the manner in which i have written that poem(please allow me to call that so!) makes me think of the person i was then and the person i am now.....

Have i really changed... Well that's a topic on which i can debate over for hours... Well but i think on a wholistic level, I am basically the same person that i was then but I may have just changed in my outlook...Well i'm gonna further analyse that later!!!

"When I fell in love" - My first poem.......

I was just doing some cleaning through my cupboard and I came across an old scrap book of mine... and it had some of the poems i first wrote and this particular one was the very first.This was when i was in the 10th std.(that would be when i was 14 years old). That was the first time i tried my hand at some poetry... and here it is....

When I turned fourteen and changed completely into a teen,
I met a girl that glittered,
Beautiful curls which put Cameroon Diaz's into the litter,
Her beauty to be compared to the crown jewels.
That made me decide that I wanted this jewel,
Then it flashed to me that I had fallen in love!

I tried to talk to her, Or rather impress her!
She was the friendly kind,
The type nobody would mind,
She was witty and intelligent,
All this made me nothing but urgent.

I tried to summon up the courage to tell her,
Always backing out with a tear,
I kept trying to tell myself i was brave,
But then i was lying to myself!

I told my friends about the matter,
Experienced, wise guys I'd say,
They laughed over it in such a way,
Believe me they couldn't sit, no way!

I asked them what was wrong,
They told me I was taking too long,
"For what", I shouted completely frustrated,
Together they said, "Its time you dated".

Then I decided it was high time,
And so I made up my mind,
I went through all my Shakespeare lines,
And then was all ready.

I went up to her full of fear,
All thorough with my Shakespeare.
"Oh beautiful one, It has struck me,
That I have fallen in love with thee,
What a couple, you and me!"

And as i waited for her answer,
I couldn't take the torture.
"Well", she said and up went my head.
She laughed, could u believe it.
"Pray tell me why you laugh at what I said",
Then it came,
"We could be the very best of friends".

So she said,
And then my heart bled.
As though it were being torn to shreds.
"Sorry", she said meekly,
"I understand", I said weakly.
"Bye", she said and with that one word,
Went my whole world!

This whole friend business,
Was all but a polite reference,
To slamming the door on your face.
As she walked away...
I decided to introspect.

These girls I tell you,
They are used to it.
A routine day of theirs,
Is filled with a heart or two of ours!

And so this little love story ends,
With the hero failing,
Very unlikely to bend,
With the truth of the end.

Well I still haven't travelled,
On the ungravelled pathway,
To a distant paradise called love,
This is all that happened when i first fell in love!!

Monday, June 05, 2006

Rendezvous at Virudhunagar

Just out of the weekend and i can't feel most parts of my body rite now!! But this weekend turned out to be one of the most memorable times of my life... My friends Guillaume, Clemence and Sarah came over and i took them on a tour(man that sure sounds funny) around Virudhunagar.....Well apart from the stuff we did, it was a different experience for me... In the sense i was worried when i first called them over as to how the reaction from my family would be. Off course my mom said i could call them over... But still the fact that our cultural background is so different and i know my mom well!!! She's got her set of principles and beliefs that no one would be able to change!!

But then, it turned out to be a great weekend... I guess it feels really nice to see friends and family getting on really well... The discussions over the table during meals was widespread and at times made my heart beat a wee lil faster(when topics such as alcohol came up!!), but then it went on smoothly overall!!

And at first i was apprehensive as to whether they would like to swim in the well at my farmhouse but at the end it was great... We sure did have a whale of a time there!! In fact.. this is like the first time in my life i'm having something to drink in Virudhunagar(It aint easy ok...everyone knows everyone in this town).... And the craziness in the jokes that were making the rounds made us(well atleast Guillaume) believe that my mom had fed him with some funny mushrooms!! He he.... And yes, before i forget, the topic of mutton!! Well i have always been having mutton to eat at my town and i have known that it was the meat of the goat. It seemed to be a surpirse to Sarah(who went on about it so many times) that we call Goat's meat, Mutton!!! She went to the extent of pointing to a cow at the farm and saying is dat wat u call Cow Mutton!!! God these were the types of crazy jokes doing the rounds.....

It was only last evening when they had to get onto the train to go to Madras that I actually felt something really deep inside of me and i realised that this weekend meant a real lot to me and also my family!! In fact this morning, my mom was like the house feels so empty without them and in a short span of two days it feels like my parents have known them for ages!!!

Another thing that was troubling me was my intuition but i'm gonna be putting dat to rest.... Its just that when i care for a person deeply, I just wanna be sure that i do nothing to spoil that relationship or make that person go far away from me... ANd when this intuitive feeling ran through me, I had this feeling of Deja Vu... like its happened in the past and it turned out to be through... But then i'm forcing myself to believe that its totally different here... Well it was easy as i was convinced too... Its all about trust i guess and more importantly who u trust... Well my life's gotta go on and i'm just a lil bit upset that it may be a long time before i again do meet this person i'm talking about and I know so strongly that this person means a lot to my life.......

And life in Virudhunagar goes on...........